As we begin to process the unspeakable events that happened at the Boston Marathon yesterday, and as we understand and learn more, it is very important to remember the impact that these events can have on the very young.
Children under the age of two do not understand that a trauma is happening, but they see and can sense when their parent or caregiver is upset. Young children are impacted by the feelings of hurt and sadness that those around them feel – especially parents and caregivers whom they trust and look to for security. Your mood will directly impact their mood, even in the youngest of infants.
In the preschool years, children have a much better understanding of the world around them and are more tuned in to the feelings and actions of other people. They ask many questions to try and make sense of their world. They look to their loved ones for guidance when their world seems scary or confusing and can use language to try to figure things out.
The following tips can be helpful for all families who are coping with traumatic events, from losses in your family to larger scale national traumas.
- If you need to watch the news or want to learn more about the bombings that occurred yesterday, do so silently online or when your children are not in the room. Even infants should not be exposed to those violent images on the television. Toddlers and preschoolers cannot put these realistic and frightening images into perspective.
- Seek out other adults to talk to about these traumatic events. This will also allow you time to process your own feelings and to support yourself.
- If you feel disconnected or distracted by these events, take a break to process your feelings before returning to talk to your children. Take as much time as you need before talking to your kids and make sure that you find ways to manage your own stress. Make sure to take care of yourself first so you can properly care for your children.
- Very young children may regress emotionally for a period of time, not necessarily in response to the event, but in response to your changed mood. Reassure your child that you are okay and they are okay, and be patient with their clingy or whiny mood because they may not understand why they are feeling sad or upset.
- Spend a few extra minutes hugging and cuddling with your little ones – this will reassure your child that they are safe and cared for and give you a moment of relaxation to have your child in your arms.
For more information on how to talk to your children about traumatic events based on their specific ages, please see the below trusted references.
- Helping Children Heal After A Traumatic Event: Suggestions for the Classroom – Children’s National Medical Center
- Tips for Talking With and Helping Children and Youth Cope After a Disaster or Traumatic Event – A Guide For Parents, Caregivers and Teachers – SAMHSA
- Little Listeners in an Uncertain World: Coping strategies for you and your young child after traumatic events – Zero to Three
- Talking with your Children About Traumatic Events – Cambridge Public Health
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